Let them stare

So it turns out Josiah may need a DOC band or a helmet. I know it's pretty common these days to see a baby with a helmet on his head, but it's one more thing. I think Josiah looks great because he was born with a hole in his mouth. Now he doesn't have one. Yesterday I went walking with him and almost everyone that passes us gives us a double or triple look. The first one is the "Oh, cute baby" look. The second one is the, "Why is his mouth like that?" look and if there is a third one my guess is it's the, "I just want to look at him a little longer" look. We're going in on Wednesday to get him assessed, so we'll see if he really needs one. But my guess is that he will need one. It's hard. I don't want to care what people think, but I do. My husband says to let it roll off my back or just let it go. A girl at the park ran away screaming when she saw Josiah before his surgery. She said mean things that I won't repeat, but I will never forget them. She was just a girl who didn't know how hurtful her words were.

So, I've been looking for stickers so we can decorate his helmet. Parents have said that it helps other people to talk about their helmets rather than just STARE. Wow, even as I wrote that word in caps my heart hurt. This is all pretty raw. At least I know that the helmet won't be forever.