A challenging time

I started teaching again and I feel so stretched. Miranda from Grey's Anatomy said this as she gave the Denny Duquette clinic over to Izzy Stevens, "You can't do everything and have everything." It is so true. I heard this loud and clear from one of the messages that Lillian sent me. I think this one was from Jennifer Roberts. She basically said that the world tells us we can have everything, but it's a lie. We can't have everything. We have to pick and choose what we want. My take on this is: If you try to have everything you'll end up with a lot of nothing or nothing of real value. This is one of the reasons I think staying at home to homeschool our children is such a great idea. I want to them to be able to have their mommy at her best NOT when she is completely exhausted and pretty much paralyzed. This is where I am now. My first weeks of being back in the classroom has been very challenging. Many parents give me a funny kind of smile as I walk by. I think it's because I just waddle around and I look like I'm about to deliver any second now. My co-workers say things like, "Are you OK? You look like you're carrying REALLY low. How much longer do you have? I can't believe you still have two more months to go! There is no way. Your doctor must have gotten the due date wrong." Then there is the always popular, "Are you sure you're not having twins?" I'm writing this down because I know that I'm not crazy when I say, "I'm so huge!" At least I'm not throwing up anymore. I do run into my students a lot, though.

I have no more to give. It's a terrible place to be. I come home and I give the people I love the most the bottom of the barrel. Very little patience, very little energy, very little compassion.... I can hardly breathe.

My husband is going on a three day business trip next week during my work week. Every spare minute is devoted to house stuff. Today we drove to Anaheim again to decide on granite. Ali and Sammie ran around the wherehouse. They weren't listening to my mom and I and by the time we were done, they were covered in black stuff. I mean Ali had it on her nose and Sammie had it all over her face. They looked like the Chimney sweep guys from Mary Poppins. Throw in another baby into the mix!!!

Tomorrow my plan is to try to go the classroom so I can bring a whole bunch of work to do during Ali's class. Most of the other parents drop their kids off and pick them up at the end. I'm going to try to use that time to finish a Title 1 excel spread sheet for 20 students.

Pray for me!