The day has come...

I seriously didn't think this day would come. There were so many obstacles. I'm still not in the clear, but at least I made it through to my last day with the students. As I read the letter explaining that Wednesday would be last day I found myself starting to tear up. Then I reminded myself of a couple of students that I would NOT miss. And would you know it, they did NOT fail to help usher me out the door without tears. I mean throwing a tantrum because I wouldn't let him get a drink until he finished his assignment at age 7?! The answers were already on the board because we all had already completed it and corrected it together. All he had to do was copy it down. I must mention that he spent the time he was supposed to be working messing around after I repeatedly told him to get to work. He copied everything down except for one problem. One more problem was just too much for him. So, he started throwing things down to show how angry he was. Then he said to me in Chinese, "I can't make it without a drink! I'm not going to make it!" "Wo so bu liao leh!" I wouldn't budge. I don't understand how he and others think that if they keep asking me the same question over and over again the answer is going to swing over to his/their favor! I must blame the parents on this one. Who else would teach them that it's possible to change someone's mind this way?! He finally accepted that I meant what I said and he finished the problem. On his way out he threw his body against the door like a rabid animal. This is just one of the things I am NOT going to miss about teaching!

I'm so exhausted. My long term sub's mother passed away this past Monday. She was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer at the end of August. She had no known health problems before this. Doctor's gave her six months. It took her life in two. Mommies. We only get one. They are God's gift to us no matter how much they "have good intentions." They make us who we are.

I called, emailed, and wrote notes to the families that had conferences on Thursday and Friday because she wouldn't be able to do her conferences. I was able to change six families schedules so that they could come today. One did not have her conference because she is going to be suspended for stealing from the bookfair and from me twice. Mom said, "It's not stealing if she returned the items." "Also, she did not know she was stealing." This is coming from the mom of the girl who said, "I knew there weren't any cameras in the auditorium, so we weren't being watched." Anyways, another mom popped her head in and successfully squeezed herself into my schedule. So, I left three families and the suspended girl for my long term sub/partner. I also wrote her sub plans for Thursday and Friday. I'm not done, yet because I still need to go in and get things ready for December. Luckily, December is not a long month.

On a side note, three families went out and bought us a gift! I gave them the letter Tuesday, so they received it Tuesday night and they gave me a gift today- Wednesday. Do you know how difficult it is to buy something so last minute? It was so nice of them. It makes me want to come back...and then I remember those that I won't miss. I would much rather deal with my own children fighting etc. than these guys! I think it's because there is only so much I can control with them. I am up against seven years of bad parenting - OK, that's not entirely fair. Of course, some of it is personality. But, it's very rare that one of these comes from a good strong family. I do my best to make a difference in their lives and sometimes I see results, but sometimes I don't. They go back home and relearn all of their old ways every night and every weekend. It's a frustrating cycle.

So, I made it. Now I can focus on: getting things ready for my sub, the baby growing inside of me, renting the house out, packing our things, buying all of the things for our new house, making the decisions to finish the house, oh and taking care of my family. There are more important things to focus on: remembering I am a daughter of the king and spending time with God. These should come first, but something needs to give. Exhaustion is all I feel and see.